...helping men and women rebuild marriages affected by a wife's childhood sexual abuse.

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Contact Info     bill@marriagereconstruction.com

Category Archives: Childhood Sexual Abuse

Christmas can get messy for families!

Family gatherings can be messy, especially during the Christmas holiday. For some families, it’s anything but “a holly, jolly Christmas.” For survivors of childhood sexual abuse whose abuse occurred within the family system, Christmas family gatherings accentuate the family fraud of keeping the secret. The sham of acting like nothing happened becomes a re-enactment of […]

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Is There a Better Way of Resolving Conflict?

In my previous blog, I outlined how each of us has a predictable style of communication when we argue. According to Mark and Debbie Laaser in their book Seven Desires, we each adopt one of four stances when we have conflict over unfulfilled desires in our relationships, especially in a marriage relationship. This is true […]

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How Do You Argue With Your Spouse?

When Glen and Brenda disagree and argue, their interaction is predictable. He points his finger at her. She cowers in silence. It is not unusual for victims of childhood sexual abuse to be silent in conflict. But a predictable style of arguing is typical of everyone, whether or not there is abuse in their background. […]

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What Expectations Should I Have in My Marriage (Part 2)

Survivors of childhood sexual abuse and their husbands typically have great expectations as well. Unfortunately, the effects of abuse eventually invade the life of the survivor and her marriage. The invasion can cause romantic expectations to turn into traumatic experiences. The effects of childhood sexual abuse can cause romantic expectations for marriage to turn into […]

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What Expectations Should I Have In My Marriage?

A husband recently asked me, “What should I have as expectations in my marriage?” Most of us (both husbands and wives), entered our marriage with great expectations. Our wedding vows often provide insight into some of those expectations. When you said, “for better for worse, in sickness and in health,” what were you expecting? I’ll […]

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How to Respond When the Topic of “Childhood Sexual Abuse” Becomes a Conversation Stopper

“What do you do for a living?” or “What do you do?” One of these questions is often asked when people are first getting acquainted. My answer to that question is, “Among the things I do, my wife and I lead a ministry that helps husbands and wives rebuild their marriage that has been affected […]

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Here’s What Many People Say When They Hear the Words “Childhood Sexual Abuse”

How do people respond to you when you say, “I was sexually abused as a child,” or when you say, “My wife was sexually abused as a child?” I am curious and sometimes saddened by peoples’ responses when the topic of childhood sexual abuse is mentioned. If someone close to you is a survivor of […]

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Three Styles of Response When Your Wife is a Survivor of Childhood Sexual Abuse

  What is it like for you as a husband whose wife was sexually abused as a child? Imagine that you and I are having coffee at a local café in your town (I wish that were possible). Given the vast and various effects of childhood sexual abuse, your situation might not warrant all of […]

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An Insightful Response to a Survivor’s Loss

Grant recently told me of a loss that his wife had experienced. The lost item had significant financial value. Grant’s wife, Callie, is a survivor of childhood sexual abuse. Grant and Callie, not their real names, have both given me permission to share this incident that offers insights into wives who are survivors of childhood […]

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Seasonal Triggers:  Our Bodies Remember

My calendar says it is Spring. The view outside my window says otherwise; I live in a northern state. But spring is coming. Many trauma survivors – including survivors of childhood sexual abuse – are aware that spring is coming because of their body’s response to the meteorological conditions that come with spring. Our bodies […]

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