...helping men and women rebuild marriages affected by a wife's childhood sexual abuse.

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Category Archives: Childhood Sexual Abuse

How intentional is your communication with your wife?

I wonder how many of us husbands were raised by non-communicative fathers? Kyle, a friend of mine, and I were having lunch the other day at Applebee’s. His dad is experiencing aging issues that include some behavioral changes, some expected and some not so expected. Kyle said that his dad has started talking about his feelings […]

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Why do husbands of childhood sexual abuse survivors feel shame and what can they do about it?

Caleb stood in the hallway and poked his head into the room, enough to see in but not enough to be easily seen. He was deciding whether to attend my breakout session at a men’s conference or the breakout session on pornography – how men are enticed into it and neurologically affected by it. My […]

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It’s a shame that Christmas isn’t always merry for survivors of childhood sexual abuse

This week, every one of us will hear it sung, “We wish you a merry Christmas.” For survivors of childhood sexual abuse, however, Christmas can be accompanied by heightened anxiety and shame. It’s anything but merry. The long-term effects of childhood sexual abuse are vast in that they include psychological, physiological, and social impact on […]

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Here’s why your wife cannot “just get over” her childhood sexual abuse

Clark Barshinger, in Haunted Marriage, calls childhood sexual abuse “murder of the psyche.” The depth of psychological injury from childhood sexual abuse and the long-term existence of its manifestations surpass the effects of most other forms of trauma. The notion that survivors “just get over it” ignores the trauma of abuse and the intricately intertwined […]

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How should husbands respond to their wives’ dissociation?

Tina Zahn experienced dissociative moments common to many survivors of childhood sexual abuse. In her book, Why I Jumped, Tina described how her stepfather ordered her to their dark and dingy basement. She recalled how she hated her stepfather’s breathing, being held down by him, and the smells that emitted from him. As her stepfather […]

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What is Dissociation and does it affect survivors of childhood sexual abuse?

Many survivors of childhood sexual abuse experience a phenomenon common to trauma survivors known as dissociation. Dissociation serves as a means of self-protection against the terror or horror of the abuse. When the common experience of dissociation becomes a practiced pattern, it develops into a disorder known as Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID).

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Childhood sexual abuse: How can we speak and listen so that our wives can hear and understand?

How can we speak and listen, as husbands, so that our wives can hear and understand? It’s a matter of expressing, receiving, and our driving motivations.

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My wife experienced childhood sexual abuse: 3 Truths to Inhale when Resilience Runs Out

If your wife has experienced childhood sexual abuse, there are three truths to inhale when your resilience runs out!

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Childhood sexual abuse: Do you have a “go to” truth in troubling seasons?

Husbands of wives who have experienced childhood sexual abuse can be haunted and taunted by the effects that directly affect their wives!

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Childhood sexual abuse: How will we get through the holidays?

I’ll be Home for Christmas. Sung by dozens of recording artists since its first recording in 1943 by Bing Crosby, the song’s lyrics were from the perspective of a WWII soldier who anticipated being home for Christmas. For the soldier, to be home at Christmas was peace and all things nice like mistletoe and presents […]

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