...helping men and women rebuild marriages affected by a wife's childhood sexual abuse.

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Category Archives: Communication

Childhood Sexual Abuse: How to Respond to the Distorted Perceptions of Survivors

Childhood sexual abuse inflicts and imprints a distorted lens through which the survivor interprets – or misinterprets – life. The distortion affects the survivor’s perception of life, God, men, themselves, sexuality, etc. It is difficult to identify an aspect of human life not affected by this imprint. That is not to say that all survivors […]

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What is Dissociation and does it affect survivors of childhood sexual abuse?

Many survivors of childhood sexual abuse experience a phenomenon common to trauma survivors known as dissociation. Dissociation serves as a means of self-protection against the terror or horror of the abuse. When the common experience of dissociation becomes a practiced pattern, it develops into a disorder known as Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID).

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Childhood sexual abuse: How can we speak and listen so that our wives can hear and understand?

How can we speak and listen, as husbands, so that our wives can hear and understand? It’s a matter of expressing, receiving, and our driving motivations.

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My wife experienced childhood sexual abuse: 3 Truths to Inhale when Resilience Runs Out

If your wife has experienced childhood sexual abuse, there are three truths to inhale when your resilience runs out!

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Childhood sexual abuse: Do you have a “go to” truth in troubling seasons?

Husbands of wives who have experienced childhood sexual abuse can be haunted and taunted by the effects that directly affect their wives!

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Childhood sexual abuse: Tips for a Survivor’s Spouse

Guest blogger, Laura Landgraf (author, speaker & life coach), speaks into the lives of husbands whose wives are victims/survivors of childhood sexual abuse.

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If you had an opportunity to understand your wife today, would you be ready?

Constructive communication between husbands and wives requires intentional and loving expression and receptivity. This is true for all couples, whether or not a spouse is the victim of childhood sexual abuse (CSA). The potential for misunderstandings in communication always exists. Consider the husband and wife whose date night resulted in two vastly different experiences and […]

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Is the content of your message congruent with your intent?

In communicating with our wives, if we are not conscious of our motive, we will not be clear in our message. Let’s say that for date night with my wife I say, “Honey, let’s just order out Chinese and have a nice, quiet evening at home.” My message is disguising my motivation because the fuller […]

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How well are you expressing yourself and your needs to your wife?

From personal experience and from my interaction with other husbands whose wives are victims of childhood sexual abuse (CSA), I know that we men are often hesitant to express some of our needs and frustrations to our wives. Some fear usually hinders freedom of expression. For some, it’s fear that their wives will further distance […]

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How to Respond when Childhood Sexual Abuse is Disclosed

Last week’s blog referred to the process known as grooming in childhood sexual abuse (CSA). The perpetrator grooms not only the victim but also the community. Having groomed the community, it is possible for the perpetrator to be respected before ever being suspected. Sadly, when the victim discloses CSA, the victim is too often suspected […]

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