...helping men and women rebuild marriages affected by a wife's childhood sexual abuse.

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Contact Info     bill@marriagereconstruction.com

Tag Archives: shame

How to Resolve Shame

Though every survivor of childhood sexual abuse has their own unique story, shame is a common long-term effect for all survivors. Shame is a disconnect from others and self that can be common to all but especially imposed upon survivors of sexual abuse and their spouses. It rises out of a sense that something is […]

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Four Responses to Shame

Shame is a common experience among survivors of childhood sexual abuse. It is a condition imposed on them as opposed to being initiated by them. The internal response of shame is not because of what they have done but because of what they have been led to believe about themselves. A survivor churns with self-condemning […]

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How Do We Talk to Our Children About Childhood Sexual Abuse?

Victims of childhood sexual abuse are silenced for many reasons. The first is that shame from the abuse silences its victims as do threats from the perpetrator. However, when abuse occurs, children and youth can also be silenced for developmental reasons. Cheryl Strayed, writer, feminist, and mother, recently explained her silence, “Because I was sexually abused […]

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How can we extend care to survivors of sexual abuse?

In our previous blog, I offered two observations on why the prevalence and injury of childhood sexual abuse continue to be ignored by society. In this blog, I shift the focus from the response of society to our personal responses and care to survivors of abuse. How can we extend care to survivors of sexual […]

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My Observations about Society’s Lingering Silence on Abuse

In this blog, I offer two observations as to why the prevalence of childhood sexual abuse in our society goes unnoticed and unmentioned. The first observation applies especially to institutions such as churches. The second observation was brought to my awareness by another observer and has individual application.

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How to Respond When the Topic of “Childhood Sexual Abuse” Becomes a Conversation Stopper

“What do you do for a living?” or “What do you do?” One of these questions is often asked when people are first getting acquainted. My answer to that question is, “Among the things I do, my wife and I lead a ministry that helps husbands and wives rebuild their marriage that has been affected […]

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What will come after #MeToo?

My wife and I were at a dinner party last week. Since we are still relatively new in our community, we were asked to tell about ourselves. We talked about our involvement with Marriage Reconstruction Ministries and its mission of “helping men and women rebuild marriages affected by a wife’s childhood sexual abuse.” Our new […]

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Responding to Disclosures of Sexual Abuse & Assault

In the current issue of Time, editorialist Laurie Penny identified questions that many people are prone to ask in response to the recent #MeToo trend; the declaration of being a victim of childhood sexual abuse, sexual assault, or sexual harassment. Could this [referring to childhood sexual abuse, sexual assault, and sexual harassment] really have been […]

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Thousands of survivors of childhood sexual abuse and women who have been sexually harassed or assaulted were emboldened last week. On Monday, a Huffington Post entry communicated that the “#MeToo quickly became the top trending Twitter hashtag” as sexually abused and assaulted women were emboldened to inform the world that they too had been affected […]

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Why do husbands of childhood sexual abuse survivors feel shame and what can they do about it?

Caleb stood in the hallway and poked his head into the room, enough to see in but not enough to be easily seen. He was deciding whether to attend my breakout session at a men’s conference or the breakout session on pornography – how men are enticed into it and neurologically affected by it. My […]

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